I hate dreams.
They shouldn’t have the ability to undo everything I’ve worked so hard to go for.
I haven’t felt heartsick this whole time. I was okay when we last parted ways. Even though I wanted you to try to date me, I knew we weren’t supposed to be together, so I handled it. And then when you started dating her a few days ago, I was angry because you led me on - again - with things you did and said last time we were together. I haven’t talked to you since then, and I was okay with that.
But now I had a dream that was everything that I was thinking. And I hate it. I woke up not knowing where I was, and completely unable to fall back asleep for the longest time. I’m so angry that even though I don’t want to be with you, you still have the ability to make me feel so crushed.
So now I’m all dressed up, hoping to see the guy who I might actually have real feelings for today. Either way, I’m all dressed up to spend some time with the Lord who does have real feelings for me, who won’t lead me on, and won’t forget about me when He finds someone else.
I’m frustrated. But usually days that start bad end up being the best. Here’s to praying.
